My son, Chris, is a karate black belt. Not only that, he's a third dan black belt.
I once asked him how many people, out of every hundred who enroll for karate classes, eventually achieve black belt status.
His answer astonished me.
It shouldn't have.
His answer was, "At least 2 but not more than 5.
" In other words, between 95 and 98% of people who enroll for karate lessons never achieve black belt.
Why? It can't be because they have arms and legs missing.
None of them are physically incapable of qualifying for the coveted black belt.
Neither do I believe that anyone begins karate lessons with a goal to reach yellow belt, green or blue belt and then stop because that's as far they want to go.
No. Anyone who takes up karate fantasises about becoming a black belt, the guy or the girl capable of taking down a whole gang of assailants, kicking the daylights out of that thug who had the temerity to attack him with a knife.
Maybe the standard of coaching is abysmal, but I don't think that's the reason either. Chris provided the explanation and it shouldn't come as any surprise to anyone who knows anything about human nature.
Karate students join a club with the best of intentions; but tonight, training would clash with a Champions League match. It's bitterly cold tonight.
It's going to be freezing in the gym.
It's hot, it's humid, I'm breaking into a sweat just walking around.
I think I'll give it a miss tonight.
They don't intend to miss more than one night; but one night becomes two and that becomes three and anyone who misses three training sessions has gone, never to be seen again. Maybe they collect an injury and they're unable to train for a month. They never come back.
No-one ever quits in the sense that they announce that they've decided they don't want to practice karate anymore.
They just drift away. What I was told next says it all.
You can tell the ones who are going to go all the way.
Even when they're injured and they're unable to train, they discipline themselves to attend even though they can only sit on the side lines and watch. They're dedicated.
They're committed.
They want to be around achievers even when they can't be part of the action.
Some fantasise about black belt, others want it badly enough to make training a priority. Most people trade what they'd really like to have (a black belt) in exchange for what they can have right now (relaxing in front of the telly).
Why am I writing about karate when my subject is the careers prospects of our young people and what you, the parent, can do to help your youngster.
The reason is that I see the same problem with my students as the karate instructor sees with his.
They know that what they want in the future is a good job that pays well, that offers excellent career prospects and with lots of job satisfaction. We're talking a few years down the line though. They can't have it now. What they want now is to play on X-Box.
It's far more fun playing on X-Box.
So, they trade what they really want in the future for the fun they can have right now.
If this is describing your youngster, I can't offer any tip in the world that's going to help in any way at all.
There's a price tag attached to everything. The price tag for following my advice is allocating time every week to putting that advice into practice when there's something they could be doing that's a lot more fun.
The price tag attached to the other option is being limited, long term, to poorly paid, tedious jobs with no career progression.
Motivation is not doing things only when you feel like it.
Real motivation is doing the things you'd rather avoid in order to have, in the future, what other people simply fantasise about.
If advice is no good, reject it.
If it's good, act on it and act now. If not now, when?
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